.... NO ... have not spend the last half an hour in front of the computer ;-) No, now I am freshly showered, dressed, the fire is lit ..... OK .. yes there is still much left to do ;-)
Well, while being in the shower, a thought occured .... I was thinking about me turning 50 next year and weather I should go crazy and celebrate my last year in my 40ies ;-) But then, I thought ... hmm - why?! I probably won't feel any worse/better then! Right now I feel pretty much happy and content ;-)
So I started thinking about my youth *lol* ... so at the age of 18-23 .... and what was so great about it.....! WELL .... breasts didn't have a gravity problem back then ;-) O.k. lets get "serious" ... the greatest thing about it was .... I didn't have any plans for my future ... I had only plans for the next weekend *gg* ... I had goals, yes ..... as to have enough money to keep my small appartment, my car and still go out partying and that my money ain't shorter, then the month lasts ....! I had no goal as to make much more money to be able to go on vacations or to afford lots of new clothes ...or a house some day ;-) Somehow that all seemed pretty unimportant to me :-) The only thing I really wanted for the future was .... to get married and have kids some day .... and well, this I have achieved ... even two times *lol* ... !
Guess times were easier back then too .... it was easier to find a job! Rent, car insurance and gas were a LOT cheaper. The cars simple and easy to repair .... even I could change the airfilter or fill in water into the cooling unit.....! Yes, I knew what was what, when I looked under the hood ;-) Or .... what I miss too ... one didn't seem to be scared or worried as much as when one gets older .... God, I did so many crazy, brainless, dangerous things .... I am surprised I survived those days ... but back then, never even the smallest thought came to my mind, that this or that might even be dangerous ;-) Well .... at least I knew, that my kids should NEVER do any of the things I did back then ... and that it would give me heart attacks ;-) Guess I had an idea .... that my life was quite crazy ;-)
And now ... I worry too much, I am too scared to fly .... too scared to start my nordic walking again ....! Last has a reason though ... it may sound funny ... but at the time it scared me ....! Some ugly idiot showed my his naked ass .... and he even wore a white, lace string tanga .... grrrr ... it looked NASTY ;-) Well what I mean is, back when I was young I would have just laughed about it and never even spent much thought. Now it scares me enough, that I do not go walking alone on my favourite tour .... because there is hardly anyone walking there and thats why I liked my regular tour so much! One could say, find yourself someone to walk with you .... but this I do not want, I hate to have to talk for 1 1/2 hrs to someone, when the greatest pleasure about walking there, is not to have to talk and just give my thoughts room .... :-)
So what have I learned .... enjoy every stage in life - 20s, 30s, 40s and even the rest of it ;-) Certain things get better ... some get worse .... but thats o.k. .... I concentrate on the good changes .... and shit, they sell wonderbra's everywhere :))
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